There are things going on in my life and the lives of those around me that are weighing heavy on my heart today. I am a very hopeful person, generally. But today, I can't see the light. I am scared for the future, scared of what it brings, scared of what today will make of it.
I know God has a plan. I know he's working. But I also know that he's sovereign, and chooses when and when not to act. I don't claim to know better than him, but his inaction is leaving me scared and uncertain. I suppose if I've ever doubted him, now is the greatest example of it. The thing I want the most is his action in our lives. If he chooses not to give that...I don't want to face what that might mean for us. I don't know how to deal with that might be in the future. It's already changing the lives of all of those involved, I can't imagine what changes will come. If that is what God has planned for our future, there is certainty at this moment that my will and his do not match up.
Is it going to be okay? I'm not sure. I can't see the light.
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